Posts in "Women" category

Motherhood According to God’s Plan

 

 It’s no accident that God made labor and delivery difficult (for most of us) and the same goes for the emotional rollercoaster caused by the joy, the fear and those pesky hormones.

But in my experience there is no greater good to do in this world than to mother children.

What is your world view? How do you see mothers, and grandmothers, shaping how we react to new or strange circumstances, to uncertainty or to the delightful sounds and smells of home-cooked meals and holiday decorations?

We could go on for hours discussing all of the ways that mothers impact our lives and how we as mothers, as parents, make a difference for each of our children. For now I’m interested in your thoughts on what God says about motherhood, so please take a few minutes to look up the verses below in your Bible.

Motherhood: A Task Worth the Effort

Motherhood references are found throughout the Bible, borrowing here from my *Women’s Study Guide given to me as a gift when I married the man who is the father to my twins.

Exodus 20:12  says mothers are to be respected.

2 Timothy 1:3-5 Children are to be lovingly nurtured by their mothers. *Children do not come off an assembly line, nor are they the by-product of an impersonal biological process; they are not trophies nor are they tools for control.

Isaiah 49:15 When Isaiah the prophet searched for an illustration of God’s constant love for His people, the best example he could find was a new baby’s mother. (Yes, I do know many fathers who are bonded/nurturing and vigilant so you’ll see posts about fatherhood as well!).

1 John 3:16 This is a truth that will transform any suffering or sacrifice into reward and joy: mothers have enduring love that even the most trying circumstances or rebellious child cannot dim (as my own mother knows).

As a mother lets go of her own life for the sake of her child, she is reminded of the depth and height and breadth of God’s love for her, and in a unique way she experiences the true joy of motherhood. Again, this is a truth that will transform any suffering or sacrifice into reward and joy.

Exodus 2:1-10 God has a plan for mothers.

Deuteronomy 6:6,7 The high calling is an all-consuming task.

Proverbs 31:28 The reward is worth the effort!

Anyone want to debate the value of a loving, nurturing mother?

If you agree, please share, comment, and add your own thoughts and scripture to posts on social media.

 

If you come across a situation where a mother is wrongfully being prevented from giving of herself, her time, care, love and wisdom, to her child please let me know. And stand by this mother; she and her child need all the support they can get.

 

Rising Above It All

Can you imagine being asked to help someone who has fallen on hard times?  Yes, of course.

But what if you helped that person and they betrayed you?  It uncomfortable, but life happens.

Bear with me – this gets a bit more intense and strange.

What if the person you helped actually staged photos of your home, without your permission, and posted them online to use in promoting their cleaning services?

Doesn’t feel good, does it?

Now – imagine this person saw an opportunity to better their position in life and in business by using photos of your home to help someone else.  Think betrayal – as in the photos are given to your opponent in a court case while you are kept in the dark, unaware that this relationship has formed and that this person who made you believe she is here to help you is actually acting to cause you harm.

Where would you start?  How do you address such unscrupulous behavior?

Of course you turn first to how you can keep things peaceful for your children; the less drama the better, right?

But what if the person you trusted to help you at home decides to become involved in taking your children from you?  What do you do then?

Do you expose the situation publicly, or do you let karma take care of it?

#BuyerBeware

 

Know Your Own Mind

A reminder to self…to keep it simple.

When you know your own mind, no one else can make it up for you or force you off course for lack of resolve or clarity.

Know Your Own Mind_Deb Beacham_My Advocate Center

Keeping Your Sense of Humor

Each day this call to action becomes more important as we are inundated with negativity messages and personal attacks, because we dared to speak our mind and take a stand about something important.

As you filter out the negative political attacks and the biased news media reports, preserve your health and sanity by either not responding, or responding with a sense of humor. What is most effective is the short and sweet, positive / above the fray type of message.

One of my favorite recently heart remarks is from Governor Nikki Halley when she came back at Donald with, “Bless your heart,” to one of his blustering and bullying put-downs.

Don’t just smile, create some of your own and save them up since you don’t know when you might need to have one or two handy to deal with people who want to slow your work down (because it makes them look bad or feel inferior), or people who say untrue or cruel things about you because they want to escape consequences for their own actions. Don’t worry about what is wrong with them, just focus on lifting yourself, or someone you support, up and over the scoundrels who want you to go off the cliff with them.

Charm school or the funny papers you read with grandpa may just pay off!

Deb Beacham

Deb Beacham Driving Change

 

Focusing Parents on What Matters

Just Listen_My Advocate Center

It’s so easy to get lost in keeping up appearances, competing or trying to get the upper hand or trying to defend our positions that we forget about what matters.

Our kids need our focus on them, their safety, peace of mind and the assurance that we have things covered; it is not up to them to make us feel calm, confident, supported or reassured.

This video puts a fun spin on how we treat each other as parents, and on how we deal with our differences. Click the link below to the “Boys Germs” Facebook page and look for the video to the left. Enjoy!

This parenting clip is brilliant…must watch to the end!!

Posted by Boys Germs on Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Response to AJC: Great continued Coverage on Kristofak Case

It has been a while since I first posted about the tragic murder of a woman who was a great mother, beloved church member, neighbor, daughter and friend to many.

My hope is that ultimately we will know that she didn’t die in vain, but for that to happen we are going to need to see our court system do a much better job of acknowledging danger – imminent danger and violent threats – and following through to prevent such losses as in this case.

What happened to this mother could have been avoided, and this man could have and should have been kept in jail for the sentence handed down to him, based on the facts, the evidence and the record which showed the judge knew he had been hospitalized because he was mentally unstable.

The lack of care and concern here is typical, unfortunately, in many cases where there is clear intent and opportunity to cause harm to vulnerable citizens, and especially to children. It’s just not something that is taken seriously by many judges and other court professionals. But hopefully that will change and improve in our lifetime.

Thank you to these contributors, to Men Stopping Violence and the AJC for highlighting what really needs to be changed in how we look at and respond to conflict:

http://blogs.ajc.com/atlanta-forward/2013/01/10/when-protective-orders-fail/

This is one of the best pieces written yet on this story, so thank you to all the contributors and to the AJC for ongoing coverage.

As Director of My Advocate Center, Atlanta, GA, I am especially appreciative of Judge Hobie Jones’ comment above. It’s time to call it like we see it. …Based on the facts and patterns around this and other cases, and not as a “Monday morning quarterback” (which I agree with you on).

And it is true that this is not just a women’s issue – violence and false allegations of domestic violence affect everyone. Our focus is on the damages to children that stem from all of it. If you hurt or threaten a good parent, you are harming her (or his) children.

False allegations, as well as NOT heeding and responding to REAL violence…and NOT using the evidence or following protocols that we have in place…all put us in a downward spiral.

Family court pretends violence & abuse do not exist, except to profit from them in a way that leads to more abuse.
Family court pretends violence & abuse do not exist, except to profit from them in a way that leads to more abuse.

I knew Donna and John, but not recently, and because I didn’t cross paths again with her in time…I am both distraught and determined that we not let this discussion end without seeing the needed changes in how we respond to these situations.

There ARE pending local cases that mirror this tragedy in too many ways, so we would appreciate continued coverage and investigation. Please email for case and location details for hearings and transcripts.

RIP Donna Kristofak, Beautiful Mother

It is beautiful but cold outside here. Hopefully warm & beautiful in your home and in your heart.

My heart is sad today as it is Donna Kristofak’s funeral…

My only thought today is to share what a teacher put in my son’s school folder:

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

Believe in God or in the Bible as the Word of God or not, but regardless, please heed these words and ACT on them.

(Proverbs 31:38-9)

Leaders in law enforcement, policy, community, business, healthcare:

I ask you to join along with family court professionals and press in asking the right questions around this tragedy. This did not have to turn out this way, but the foreshadowing of this is what led to the creation of My Advocate Center. There are currently other cases heading down this same path, and we need your help in intervening…for the sake of the children involved.
Thank you in advance. If you are not sure what YOU can do, please email and ask.

This IS personal for me, as I knew Donna and John – as neighbors and parents and members of the same church. I saw in Donna’s face and eyes how she felt, and now it is too late for her, but not for others. Today is a HARD day. But tomorrow is a new day and the work begins. This “story” is far from over.

If you know someone like John, or think someone you know is like Donna, and are reacting to a gut level alarm going off, now is the time to reach out for help on what to do. Just do something. Either way, you can help THIS family – their sons – by donating to the fund set up by friends of the family.

This is my Tough Love message for now to those of you around me in East Cobb, Marietta, Atlanta, Georgia… More to follow.

Bullies, Men, Stopping Violence

A quick word on Domestic Violence – which is also Family Violence or Intimate Partner Violence:

Please take this seriously and take a chance by reaching out to someone who may be calling out for help, afraid to talk or suffering the aftermath of trying to escape the kind of bully who uses various forms of violence for control.

Richelle Carey, a board member of Men Stopping Violence here in Atlanta, Georgia where I live gave one of the best explanations to the Fox News audience today that I’ve seen on a major network about why we should learn more about this subject, why we all need to pay attention:

“This is a community problem, not just a Family problem.”  And she is 100% correct. “This affects everyone.”  Even if you don’t think it affects you, know that it does.  It affects children even when you can’t see the signs of it – even if there are no audible screams or visible bruises.   Offenders who bully and abuse are often good at hiding it and victims are often compelled to stay with and even protect their abusers.  It is just what happens.

If we are going to change the patterns that exist and put a real dent in bad behavior, it is going to take better support for those trying to break free, and it is going to take more Good Men facing the issue, taking a stand and calling out other men (while women need to call out other women who are NOT helping matters either) and showing them how to do better.   If you know me, you know why I say this:  Because our CHILDREN are watching.

Please take a moment to listen to Richelle on today’s Fox & Friends show, and learn more:  RichelleCarey.com / MenStoppingViolence.com / MyAdvocateCenter.com.  Thanks to Fox & Friends for having this fearless spokesperson on during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Richelle Carey, Men Stopping Violence on Fox & Friends

Older Posts »