There’s no question that we can do better as a community, as a state and as a nation.
The numbers are discouraging when you hear or read about children losing parents due to misguided court professionals, false claims of abuse or neglect, and about the loss of homes due to bad practices found in many court cases.
We have the ability right now – an opportunity to have a huge impact – by supporting solutions to the challenges facing parents who are fighting to support, nurture and protect their children.
Please continue reading here and on MyAdvocateCenter.com and listen to ProAdvocateRadio.com each week, or follow our podcast discussions as you have time. Please send questions or feedback through the contact form on My Advocate Center’s website.
April is sexual assault awareness month, but this is something we need to focus on every month, every day. There are more children and adult victims around us than you could imagine. So please learn to recognize the signs and know what the resources are to guide to for help.
Please take this seriously and shine a light into dark corners where predators hide, and where certain professionals profit by helping to block evidence and testimony to help these children. Child abuse is a crime, and so is covering up child abuse. #ProfitOverProtection
It’s so easy to get lost in keeping up appearances, competing or trying to get the upper hand or trying to defend our positions that we forget about what matters.
Our kids need our focus on them, their safety, peace of mind and the assurance that we have things covered; it is not up to them to make us feel calm, confident, supported or reassured.
This video puts a fun spin on how we treat each other as parents, and on how we deal with our differences. Click the link below to the “Boys Germs” Facebook page and look for the video to the left. Enjoy!
This parenting clip is brilliant…must watch to the end!!
You would never expect me to say freedom is a little thing, would you?
For many parents, children, grandparents and even for their advocates, freedom to speak and freedom to protect are rights that we can lose, even right here in the U.S.A. That’s not the way it’s supposed to work, so we’re not prepared for it when this happens.
It’s not the best news to share that this is happening to us, no matter what we have going for us, no matter where we live or how innocent or good we are. We just don’t talk about it openly, and typically because we’re told not to… But when this silencing of parents and children happens…to avoid exposure and reporting of misconduct…what you see from the outside is a look of confusion, shock, depression or something you might say is off, but whatever it is, you want no part of it!
So I appreciate little things like being able to take rides on any open road, to open windows and to feel the cool air, and to enjoy kids waving their arms and singing loudly. They should always have this freedom to be kids and to be unencumbered with news of the challenges we adults face.
If you know how to make this easier for them…and have the means to support families in protecting these freedoms and the childhood pleasures most of us have taken for granted, please use your voice.
Help us keep the freedoms of childhood as they should be — building blocks for a healthy life.
Please connect with me here and off-line if you have ideas you’d like to share!
Merry Christmas to all my family, friends and to all of our supporters patiently and diligently working to improve safety and recovery for families and children.
I am so blessed to know you all!
I’m also overwhelmed with the gratitude expressed by families for the work we all do, for the sacrifices and for the milestones achieved.
What I am proposing here is a clean slate, or a fresh start to our conversations and in our approach to improving health, stability, and in dealing with the challenges we are facing as parents, grandparents, educators and advocates during high-stress times and through conflict.
We can do better now that we know more and have each other. We are inspired, motivated, resolved, and in great company!
“And the greatest of these is Love…”
There is an uplifting Christmas song that came to mind today…one you may have never heard on the radio or in church. My coach and counselor in high school sang it for us during Christmas at Florida Christian School in Miami. “Come on ring those bells…light the Christmas tree…Jesus, we remember this your birthday.” Please look up the full lyrics and listen to the song, no matter what you believe or what you’re going through. Thank you, Mrs. Martin, for your voice, for the words of wisdom shared, and for the example you and other teachers, coaches and school leaders set for us. That was Love…
Looking forward to sharing more with you all in the New Year, and engaging you in the solutions we are presenting as a team to our leadership in each state where we are involved.
If you would like to receive our newsletter and updates in January, please use this form for My Advocate Center and stay tuned for the launch of Pro Advocate Radio as well!
We often look for someone or something to be “perfect” before we focus on seeing inspiration or to follow someone’s lead.
This Dolphin Tale movie is one I’ve held dear since first seeing it, and the sequel was even better than the original movie. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did!
First, get to know the true story…
In my world I see many people being held back by something physical or emotional, and learned that it helps me do better for myself as I take the time to figure out what children need, or what their parents need…and it always comes back ten-fold.
So this film validates how I feel, and that is that it is worth investing in others, and helping more people get the message. You won’t know the difference you can make for others, and for yourself, until you really let go, and DIVE in!
See what is possible, and go for it!
While you’re at it, follow and share the inspiration found here: @CMAHope @WinterDolphin @dolphintale @ CMAquarium
This name comes from the hundreds – really thousands – of parents and children being treated as throwaways by certain court and agency professionals who lack empathy and disregard the needs of children. The trauma being caused by failures to uphold laws and professional duty to clients is staggering, but it can be addressed and stopped, if you dare to ask how.
The last few years have been like playing hide and seek in getting to know the truth about what happens to parents and children when they have to go through our court system.
Too late, many parents caught in a Family Court matter realize the truth just doesn’t matter, and by then they are turned upside down wondering what happened, and how.
WHY was my evidence not used to protect me or my kids? WHY did they tell me we would be “just fine” because the truth was on our side?
The numbers of children who are NOT fine is staggering, whether they are remaining with abusive or addicted parents, cut off from healthy parents, or if they are watching parents lose their homes because the “divorce got really ugly.” The reality of the “ugly” is that legal fees are ratcheted up so high that parents too often cannot afford to keep homes, or cannot pay for college or medical/psychological treatment.
This is what it feels like to these children and parents: it is like being on the inside of a pinball machine, but you can’t get out and you have no control over what will happen next. This breeds uncertainty and makes decision-making nearly impossible. You react…really are just knocked around, until you can’t tell which way is up…or out. To those certain professionals managing these confused parents, they are looked at as pawns, and to some it seems this is entertainment, not just a way of earning an income. When parents are treated this way – intentionally – it is certainly not advocacy.
Most people can’t relate to what this family is experiencing, and the professionals tell their clients not to talk about what is happening, and then they seal reports so that the truth never comes out.
For so many mothers and fathers, and for children who are being hurt in the process in some way or another, it boils down to the fact that our judges and custody “experts” do NOT have to consider the evidence we present to help us get through conflict safely.
It’s unfortunate but true that for certainFamily Law professionals it is just too profitable for them when they keep evidence hidden — evidence that if used in Court might have otherwise put your case to rest and allowed you to get through it safely, and without losing your children and everything else you cherish.
The worst is when they cooperate – attorneys, custody experts and the judge – to suppress evidence of child abuse rather than using it to protect and uplift a child. The same thing applies when they put an innocent parent in jail, or cause them to lose their job in addition to their children and property.
In the process of suppressing evidence – to manipulate the outcomes of cases for their financial gain – they are severing relationships with nurturing parents who want to protect the child and end the fighting. The damages to children are staggering, and many of these children never recover. Parents who are blocked from caring for and protecting their own children…are also having a hard time managing and recovering. Some do not.
The opposite of what should happen – based on the available evidence – is what is occurring on far too many cases all over Georgia.
Please write your legislators and simply say that we want our Georgia statute to say that Judges and court appointed professionals “shall” consider evidence, rather than “may” consider evidence. This is just one point for reform, and it may take time but it’s important.
It is time to end this suffering and to address the cycles of abuse, addiction and dysfunction where it is possible for our Courts to use evidence to intervene properly. Where evidence and testimony are available to help put protections in place for children, and to support good parents, these should be secured on the record and used to protect.
Family Court practices that lead to ignoring evidence are worsening the situation. The professionals who work this way are worsening mental health, stability and productivity; they are increasing the cycles of abuse and addiction.
Where you are seeing certain professionals cooperate with each other to block, suppress or ignore evidence – evidence of real abuse, or evidence that would exonerate an innocent parent who is falsely accused – please visit MyAdvocateCenter.com to report this data.
This post is being updated in October of 2015 as we acknowledge Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please see this note shared on the MAC Facebook page that was written by a former family law attorney, and also read what I shared myself directly onto the page:
After many years of researching & working to understand why abused mothers, fathers & children are not receiving the…
In all situations where evidence is ignored and the truth does not count, this leads to more loss, stress and trauma for the children and parents involved. Please let us know how you can help address this, and how you can help involve our healthcare community so that these families can recover while we work on reforming bad practices.
If you see me around the Capitol, you know why I’m there. Get involved.